Us Vs Them

Quelle horreur, England are into the last 8 of the World Cup! Tomorrow we play those swines Portugal and if we scrape through that, probably Brazil. I know, I know. But you never know, victory could be ours.

My brother thinks Ronaldinho looks like an ugly girl, but I think it's more of a llama. Either way, he will win us.




Warning: This Might Make You Hoff

  

  

Eww! Britney has stripped off in all her pregnant glory. What's with the whole mask thing?!




Hilton 4 Becks

Paris Hilton says she's got quite a crush on David Beckham, but he's only at number three in her World Cup lust list. The blonde heirhead, in the UK to promote her new single, admitted she's addicted to watching the footie, but appears to be concentrating on the boys rather than the ball play. "I am a keen football fan," says Paris, who claims it's German striker Lukas Podolski who caught her eye first: "I think Lukas is the sexiest man on the pitch. I would really like to meet him." If Lukas isn't up for some fun, then next on her list is Freddie Ljungberg, followed closely by David. But any potential suitors should know one thing: Paris isn't looking for just another fling. "He needs to be honourable and make me laugh. I want a baby within the next five years," she added.




Pammy Strips Off In Shop Window

Pamela Anderson last night slammed Jennifer Lopez and Beyoncé Knowles for continuing to wear fur. At a PeTA awards ceremony, held at Stella McCartney's London boutique, Pammy told a star-studded crowd, that included Louise Redknapp, Gillian Anderson, Chrissie Hynde and Sadie Frost: "My message would be to please start using fake fur. It's terrible because people see stars like J-Lo and Beyoncé wearing fur and they don't think about the cruelty that goes into it." After delivering her message, and dolling out awards to the likes of Martina Navratilova and Sir Roger Moore, Pammy stripped down to her G-string in the window of the store, prompting pandemonium from the hoards of paparazzi outside.

Source: Glamour




Make The In-Laws Love You By Ridiculing Their Taste

Not a good way of making Brad Pitt's folks prefer you to Jen, Angelina. The newly birthed one has rejected a gift from her in-laws as it’s too girly.

Brad’s folks gave Ange some frilly pink baby clothes for little Shiloh, but Ange has told them in no uncertain terms that she won’t be clothing her offspring in them any time soon.

A source said: ‘Ange knows her mind and knows how she wants her children to be dressed.

‘She doesn’t like girlie, pink, frilly clothes. You can see that with her adopted daughter Zahara.

‘She doesn’t want her babies to be dressed like dolls. Ange said thanks for the dresses, but she won’t put them on her.

‘Though I don’t think she has realised how much it has upset Brad’s family.’




What Would Joe Simpson Do?

What's this? A Simpson sister dropping the N-bomb when someone casually tells them to take off their clothes? Day-um. Ashlee has turned down a $4 million offer to strip for Playboy. In Touch magazine reported earlier this week that Ashlee was seriously considering the idea, but her publicist said yesterday that although she did indeed receive the offer, she wouldn't be accepting it.

That's very strange. It might even be apocolyptic. Look out for those horse men.




No One Wants Strange Religion Bambino

Tiny Tom Cruise and his gradually shrinking wife Katie Holmes have taken their baby pics off the market, after they failed to reach as high a price as Brangelina's tot.

While pictures of Shiloh sold for $4million, pictures of the elusive Suri only topped $3 million, and have now been taken off the market. Now she’s almost three months old, her price will go down. 

A source said: ‘Shiloh was the whole deal. We won’t see a baby like that again for a while.’




The WAGs Are Beefing

Are Posh and Cheryl deliberately keeping themselves apart from the other WAGs?

The fake tanned couple sat apart from the other WAGS during England’s match against Equador on Sunday, and whispering and hugging during the game.

The twosome reportedly can’t understand the attitude of the other WAGS, who have nothing to do but shop – though they’re still mates with ‘down to earth’ Coleen.

A source said: ‘Cheryl doesn’t understand girls whose lives revolve around shopping, especially with their partners money.’

Things have come to a head with Posh describing Joe Cole’s fitness instructor girlfriend Carly Zucker as ‘beefy’.

Carly hit back by labelling Posh as ‘emaciated.’ Go on, Posh. Jab her with a hipbone or something.




J-Lo's "Drug Lord" Hubby Is Turning Her Grey





This Pair Of 1881s Make Me Sick

  

They think they look young, but no, they are mutton, if not rams. Madonna and Courntey Love bring a new meaning to "18 from behind, 81 from the front". And they have kids who must be so proud.



Britney's Dyed!

All the gay bloggers are completely losing their shit because Brit-Brit has dyed her hair black. The only reason it looks ever so slightly better is because you can't see the grease. It's also another faux-pas because she's pregnant and it could harm the baby. Well, duh, I'm sure this hick's genes are specially adapted to hair dye chemicals, cos her momma and her momma's momma and so on have probably been dying their hair as long as the inbred chain stretches back. Little Cletus No 2 will be just fine.




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